


Smart Mouth

by MerryWriting



Category: Gears of War (Video Games)
Genre: Baird is a smart ass, Bunk Sex, Cunnilingus, F/M, Light plot, NSFW, PWP, Why is there flour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 13:45:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19335721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerryWriting/pseuds/MerryWriting
Summary: Pretty much what it says on the tin; a little ball of PWP goodness with my favourite smart-ass and an ofc.





	Smart Mouth

Lily sighed and scratched the side of her head; making a meal that would satisfy and nourish the 1800 or so soldiers and personnel on the ship was no longer as easy as it used to be. They grew what they could, but…

All they had in abundance was salt, pulled from the ocean.

“God almighty,” she rubbed her temples and tried to make it all fit together, “John, what do we actually have a lot of?”

“Well, nothing.”

“Come on, there must be something we have most of,” she said and looked around the sterile, stainless steel room,

“Well, leftovers,” he laughed,

“Leftovers?” _You better not be serious, you stupid motherfu-_ “What do you mean leftovers?”

“Peelings, ends, bones… stalks…” he trailed away,

“You’ve been peeling the vegetables?” She said slowly, “and… doing what with the bones?” _Don’t say throwing them away,_

“Composting some of ‘em and the rest…” John cleared his throat,

“Right. Where.”

 

The collection of bones from the last of the elderly pigs that they had cooked in desperation a week or so ago were probably suspect, but she threw them into the biggest pot she could find with sea water and a decontamination tablet.

“Boil that.” She pointed. “For two hours, then take the bones out. Send them to compost and put all vegetable scraps you haven’t composted already in there.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Then throw in the dented cans of mixed veg that need using.”

“Yes… where are-”

“I’m going to the dry store,” she said, biting back the desire to throttle him, “we had flour nearing expiry last time I checked. It’ll be soup and flatbreads tonight.”

 

One meal a day, one lousy, not MRE based meal per day and they were struggling to give the men even that. Lily rubbed her face as she barrelled down the narrow corridors and ran into something a bit like a wall. Except it cursed at her,

“Shit… Goddamn,” Baird snarled, reeling into Cole,

“Watch where you’re going,” Lily said and staggered around him,

“Oh, sure,” he called after her, “sure I’ll watch my back and sides. You always walk around blindfolded or-”

She shouldn’t have slapped him, but her hand led her around in an arc before she could think, and the sharp sound echoed down the hall. Cole raised his brows and shifted backwards,

“No, I spend my whole day trying to make something out of nothing so you can eat,” Lily raised her chin, tears of frustration pricking at her eyes,

“Oh hey, yeah, that’s right, because we do nothing, right guys?”

“Leave it, Baird,” Cole murmured gently, he looked worn,

“No, right, I get it,”

“You don’t get shit!” Lily snapped, “you get to leave, you get to actually _do_ something. I float here, and I peel carrots, and I wait to die.”

His face paled a little,

“And your smart mouth doesn’t make it any easier for me or the rest of us that have to do that.”

 

She turned on her heel and half jogged away before he could respond; it didn’t need to go any further. The Gears were keeping them alive, she knew that, but it was insufferable, it was soul crushing… it just plain sucked to be stuck on a floating tin can with no way to help. No power. No control.

_But at least we have flour._

She touched the packets she had hidden away with a smile. Technically she wasn’t in charge of the kitchens… Jaeger was a good man, but a terrible cook. His experience was as a gunner. He was given the post to make him feel useful when he lost one eye and four fingers. But he burned through their supplies like wildfire through dead grass.

“You’re hiding flour?” Bairds face was twisted in confusion, but he was still irritatingly cute. Even in the half-light.

“I… yes,” Lily said, throwing up her hands, “Jaeger cooks like we’ll never run dry. So, I hide shit. So today we’re having soup and flatbreads because he’s had the kitchen staff throwing away leftovers and I’ve just rescued them.”

“From the leftovers? Why, have they gone Lambent too?”

_I’ll kill him. I’ll actually-_

“Good chat Baird,” Lily snapped an turned away again,

“Ah, shit, don’t be like that. I’m sorry, ok? I came to say I’m sorry. Even though you ran into me in the-” She turned to look at him. “- anyway I’m sorry. Ok? Can we make up? I don’t want spit in my soup or flatbread. Please.”

“I… fine. Fine Baird, whatever.” She scooped up the flour and made for the door, but Baird only crossed his arms. “What? No, I need-”

Gently he pulled the supplies from her arms and put his hands on his hips,

“You’re stressed, Red.”

“Red?”

He touched her hair gently, and she blushed,

“Ah. Well, yes… I mean, we all are, right?”

“Not like this,” Baird said, and then laughed, “not hiding flour, slapping Gears stressed.”

And, for the first time in weeks, she laughed too. A really, belly laugh that brought tears to her eyes. It wasn’t that funny, not even close, but she hiccupped and snorted her way through the hysteria.

“No. Maybe not.”

“You need an outlet,” Baird said, and then grinned, “something to blow off steam.”

“Like?”

“Well, I shoot grubs.”

“Right,” Lily said, “don’t suppose you’ll bring me one back?”

“Nope. How about a punch bag?” It was a good idea or would have been if he hadn’t spread his arms. Lily made a faux jab at his gut, yelping when he caught her wrist. “Not. Me.”

 

In the dark they were inches apart, she could feel his breath on her face, and it dawned on her just what he had been meaning. _Oh._

“Oh.”

He squeezed her wrist gently.

“You son of a-”

Her free hand swung round, but he caught that too, walking her back into the shelving,

“Easy,” Baird whispered with a laugh, “it’s not the best come on, I know-”

“Oh, you think?”

“But that slap’s the most attention I’ve gotten from you, so I figure… no time like the glowie-infested present, right?”

_Well, that’s true…_

The problem was that Baird was insufferable. Cute, but arrogant, obnoxious, self-important. A real pain in the ass. Not that you’d think it the way he leaned down, so gentle, so soft, and kissed her as if it was his first time. By the way he slowly, cautiously, let go of her wrists and pulled her closer with one big, warm hand on her waist. By the way he breathed in short, shuddering gasps you would have thought he was the sweetest thing in the world.

“Yes?” He breaks away long enough to ask and receive his answer,

“Yes.”

“Thank God.”

It’s not pretty, not even close; she heard the rip of her standard issue chefs whites as a button or two came loose, and she remembered how she must look in them. But he didn’t seem to mind; Baird was panting and fumbling with his belt with one hand, the other dragging her whites off to show the less than pristine vest below,

“How many layers are you wearing, woman?” Baird gave up on his belt and threw his hands up before reaching for her vest,

“No,” Lily said and slapped his hand away, “what if someone comes in?”

He stared, blinking in the gloom and then sighed, leaning down to grab the discarded whites, grey really, even in the light, and pulled her by the hand into the hallway,

“The flour…” Lily said weakly, and he turned to look at her as if she had lost her mind, goggling like a landed fish before swearing and storming back into get it, hustling her along the corridor.

 

She wondered how it would look to anyone who saw them.

She wondered if they would notice or think to question the flour. Lily snorted and started to giggle as he pulled her roughly into his room, and by the time he was leaning in for a kiss she was howling, bent double, gasping through the laughter,

“What the-? What now?”

“Do you think,” she gasped, “do you think… they’ll ask about… the flour?”

And they crumble together, onto the floor, shaking and laughing, and in the middle of it, he tries again, mouth skittering over her cheeks before it finds hers. No matter how she falls again and again into hysterical fits, he finds her, and brings her down, and when she starts to kiss back, his hands slid under her vest lifting it away, and into her hair, pulling the band free so he could curl his fingers around it and tug her forward, gently gently, towards him and into his lap,

“That’s better,” he whispered into her hair as he pushed the straps of her bra down, “what was that about my smart mouth?” He nipped her ear gently. “That it doesn’t help?”

“What?” Lily gasped, eyes rolling to the ceiling as he undid the clasp with one hand. Entirely too proficient.

“I think it could.”

“What could?” She asked as he lifted them up the short way to his bunk and dragged her trousers and pants in one smooth motion. _Oh._ She had always thought, not that she thought about it a lot, Baird would approach sex the way he approached everything; with cool, detached arrogance and superiority.

She was wrong, of course.

He pulled her boots off and, without fully freeing her, ran his tongue along her slit before pulling her clit into his mouth, pinning her hips down with one steely arm.

“Oh,” _seem to be saying that a lot._

Then a shard of Baird, what Lily thought of as the real Baird, shone through; as she gripped his hair he chuckled, sound muffled but clear, and pushed two fingers into her, curling them. Far too proficient by far, but she started to care less and less as the tension in her muscles melted away to be replaced by a loose, buzzing heat.

Sex had never been selfish for her, hell since emergence day it had been limited; whatever they said the ‘havens’ for pregnant women were a death sentence. Sex was stress relief, or it was procreation. This was neither. Baird was taking his time, picking her apart, piece by piece to uncover raw nerves.

“Stop squirming.” He panted, smacked her ass, and finally dragged her trousers off the ankle they had been hanging from,

“You’re still-”

“Yup,” he grunted and pushed her onto her back again, shifting away when she ran her hand up the seam of his fatigues.

 

Piece by piece, that’s how he seemed to want to do it. He dragged her to the edge again and again, then let her go, left her dizzy and shaking. The smug grin might have boiled her blood if she could muster the wits. Lily knew, somehow, what he wanted.

“Please.”

The grin froze, flickered,

“What?”

“Please, Damon,” she gasped, and it grew. He pressed the broad palm of his hand firmly between her legs and slid it down, before dragging back up and pushing two fingers into her again,

“What? Sorry, didn’t hear you.” He grinned.

“Fuck you.”

“Come on.”

“Please.”

“Please what, Princess?” He curled his fingers sharply,

“Please…” Lily shuddered on the edge of begging,

“Please?” He drew the word out like a blade, slow and deadly,

“Please fuck me.”

His brows shot up. Not what he was expecting.

“If you insist.”

_Prick._

Baird almost deprived her of satisfaction, pushing his fatigues out of the way quickly, but she shook her head and dragged his shirt over his. Privacy is a luxury not to be wasted. He cursed through every second it took to get his boots and boxers off,

“Better? Happy now?”

“Shut up.” Lily shook her head and shimmied onto the bunk properly, wincing at the feel of the wet sheets where she had lain. He winked,

“Told you it could help.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me,” he gasped as he separated her knees, eyes squeezed shut when her hand ran down his stomach, slowly, slowly, to grip his cock,

“Ok.”

“Nice try.”

Lily rolled her eyes,

“You are incapable of being quiet, aren’t you?” She asked,

“Pretty much – Oh shit,” he ground his teeth against the soft tug of her hand, then pushed it away before guiding himself into her. He took his time, again, pressed in inch by inch, and then buried his face in her hair. As if suddenly coming to his senses, he turned into the man she had expected; precise, methodical, detached. His jaw set like stone, his brows drew in, and his hands gripped the blankets hard enough to make his knuckles white.

“Stop,” she whispered, then laughed, “no not… I mean stop… trying to detach.”

“Well, it's been a while…” he said, and this time his laugh was nervous,

“I don’t care.”

And he melted, dissolved into a mismatched jumble of gasps and jerks and curses that rattled the bunk. Every now and then Baird pulled out completely and pushed back in hard enough to make her teeth rattle and her knees wobble. _Well, fuck... now I have to keep him._ The wet sounds made her wince and flush with something not quite close to shame; the wet patch beneath them had grown enough that she knew not to fake prudishness. So she locked her ankled behind his back and started to roll her hips in time, whatever erratic time he kept, with him. Only when he suddenly jerked, gasping and pushing her hips away, did Lily unhook her ankles from behind his back,

“Shit, shit, shit,” Baird pulled away quickly, but not quickly enough to save his sheets. “Ah shit.”

Lily bit her lip and held in the smile as best she could,

“You can shut the fuck up,” Baird grunted and flopped beside her.

“Make me.”

“Oh… don’t, just – don’t start that shit for at least a half hour, alright?” He hauled the blanket out from under them and closed his eyes. Lily froze, waiting for a sign. _Should I leave?_ She started to sit, reached for her bra, and he hauled her back down. “No.”

“Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Ok.” Lily swallowed and let her hand trail across his arm, pressed it on top of his, and tried to ignore the jolt of electricity that sliced through her when he took it and held it tight.

 


End file.
